S (diamondroses) wrote in uc_help,

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Hi. I recognize a few names in the user info, but I'm new here so I thought I'd introduce myself and let you all know where I'm coming from. My name is Sarah and I'm 21.

I gave birth a beautiful baby girl in February. She was a hospital birth and, although I'm satisfied for the most part with my birth experience, I will never give birth in a hospital again. There are things that I wasn't satisfied with from the beginning. They way that I was basically put aside to labor in a cramped waiting room for over an hour because there were no beds available when I arrived even though I was already 9 cm dilated. The way one of the nurses told me that there was no way that I was going to make it through birth without pain narcotics or an epidural. The way the same nurse came in with a bottle of pitocin when I was already fully dilated because she thought my contractions "weren't strong enough" and the way she acted pissed off and annoyed when I refused it. I didn't care for the way that the nurses attempted to "help" my daughter and I learn to breastfeed (by forcing my daughter's head against my chest until she screamed so hard she could hardly breathe) or the way that they gave her formula behind my back after I specifically put a sign on her bassinett stating that she wasn't to have any of that crap (the took her from my room in the middle of the night while I slept and said that they "had" to give it to her because she had lost 6 ounces and that was "too much"). This all made me leary of ever giving birth in a hospital again, but the final straw came from something that happened to me recently that's completely unrelated to childbirth.

I was in a car accident recently and was transported to the hospital by ambulance. Everything was so rushed and cold and frightening. After that experience, I can't bring myself to see the hospital as anything other than a place where you go when you are sick or hurt. It's not a happy place. It's not the kind of place that a newborn infant should spend the first precious days of his or her life. It's not the place where MY next child will spend the first days of his or her life. I only wish that I had come to these realizations before my daughter was born so that she could have had a gentler entry into the world and a happier first few days.

I've toyed with the idea of a birth center birth, but I live in Arizona and don't have many options as far as birth centers go. There is only one freestanding birth center in my general area (the next closest is two hours away in Tucson). The one in my area is:

A.) In downtown Phoenix which is not the best area of town (in fact I believe it's somewhere near the hospital that I was taken to after my wreck)

B.) I was told by one source that a lot of woman end up being "risked out" and end up at the hospital anyway. I know that not a lot of woman  have the kind of problems that would warrent them being risked out so I can't help but wonder if the center is risking them out for simple things like, say, going past 42 weeks. If so, then I have just a high of a chance of being risked out as any other healthy woman with a healthy pregnancy.

So that brings me back to homebirth, assisted or unassisted. Ideally, I would love to have a water birth because the water has always been very calming to me. I am really excited about the prospect of it, although I know it will be a while before I have another child. I am breastfeeding my first and would like her to self wean before I get pregnant again. I don't want to do anything to interfere with the breastfeeding relationship that we worked so hard to build. So I figure it may be at least three years before I get pregnant again. The good news is, this gives me plenty of time to educate and prepare myself for a homebirth. I know already that the biggest obstacle is going to be convincing my fiance that this is the best thing to do. He overheard a conversation once between one of his employees and I. She was telling me that her daughter has 4 children and that they were all born at home with a midwife present. I started to tell her that I loved the idea of a homebirth when he butted in and told her not to tell me anymore about it and not to put "stupid ideas like that" in my head. I know it's just because the idea of it seems unsafe to him so I want to spend the next 3 years proving to him that it's safer than a hospital. I'm very excited to learn and hear all of your stories.

I would write more but my little one just woke up and is giving me the FEED ME look. ;)

Take care everyone!
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